~OnCe UpOn @ T!mE!~ [mah fairy tale s2ry]

ok.. today would not be the best day of my life. why is that? even as the morning greeted me, i knew that this day was not cut up for me.. i’ve lots to tell considering the fact that i haven’t properly updated my blog for the past few days. it’s just that i’ve been so busy with the editting of our school paper, IPSALink. I’ve practically lived in the school these whole week! i go there for classes from 7-5 and then work myself for the papero until 9 or 10 PM. by the time and get home, i barely have the energy to keep myself awake for my homework and studying…and then, this morning, when my parents caught a glimpse of the paper, they were all criticizing on how this article was poorly written, how incompetent i am as the editor in chief and so on… in fact they were saying very harsh words on being embarassed to say that their daughter is the editor in chief of such lousy work… OUCH! that hurts! how come what i’ve done is not enough? i’ve spent every joule of my energy on that paper and all i can hear is negative comments… DAMN! then after a talk with kuya bry and maám rhen, i felt a little better…jez, i remember, i was practically sobbing so loud! haay… it just dawned to me=== why am i letting these comments affect me so much… granted that they’re my parents and that i should give them some thought but i realized that eversince, what i’m doing is never enough to please them… so why try and try and kill myself trying?! i’ve given up a lot for these ambition of theirs for me… i’m doing everything i can… but i can’t live like this… soon, i’ll explode..my pent up emotions will be known and God knows what i will happen next! all i can do is pray that God will give me strength to handle the pressures in my life, because ice creams and chocolates can do very little help… yes, perhaps my parents and my whole life run by them are my biggest struggles but i know… i can do this.. i have to…for myself…

"Jealous"

La la la la la la la
She’s a very very lucky girl

oh well…every girl’s bound to feel jealous at least once in her life… it’s okay it’s all right.. i’m still jel… fight! fight! fight! only that fight meant shuttin’ my heart up..hehehe… not an easy task but workable in my case if it’s for the one i love… whew! talk about mushy… anyway, she’s a VERY VERY LUCKy GIRL!!!

Waaaahhh!!! It’s late and i’m still up! This time, I’M COMPLAINING. My head hurts and my health is poor and i’m always grouch and cranky. In short, I’M TOO STRESSED OUT!!! Damn! Ummm… due to people i’m currently chatting with… i’ve calmed down but the fact remains… I’m doing too many responsibilities and i feel that i’m not meeting a lot of expectations including that which i set for myself. that’s what frustrate me most… hope i get my ipsalink editing, my ap reaction paper, my arts report

Ray Of Light

Success implies failure. These two belong to other similar pairs - light and darkness, joy and sorrow,  pleasure and pain, etc. Success itself is only a  partial positive term whose corresponding negative  term is failure. We know that life alternates between  success and failure. In our experience, it may not  even be divided fifty-fifty. Failure is common, success is rare. The individual is finite, while life  is the collective infinite. The individual is a small part of life, and therefore his efforts in a society that is much larger than he is cannot result in a greater part of success. The individual can only aspire for harmony with the society and that is his success. Stronger individuals may have more than 50% success, while weaker ones usually achieve minimal success.

If this is true, how is ‘unfailing success’ possible? It seems to be a dream or an illusion.

But there is another fact of life. In fields where man  meets with a mixture of failure and success in one century, he sometimes achieves unfailing success in  the century that follows. Every adult achieves unfailing success in acts that were once a cause of failure when they were young,  unskilled and inexperienced. A child who masters the skill of walking achieves unfailing success as far as walking is concerned. The same is true of speaking, writing, eating and many other activities that we master in the process of growth and eventually become  subconscious endowments, once we have fully learned them.
Yesterday’s success and failure are today’s unfailing success.

If what we failed at in the past we succeed at today, then activities in which we confront a mixture of failure and success today can become sources of unfailing success tomorrow.  External mastery is  an expression of an inner human potential for unfailing success. Go inside, discover the potential, rather than waiting years for it to emerge. When the subconscious knowledge is made conscious, or the inner potential is brought out as an outer actuality, the element of failure recedes and finally  disappears. Any work in which you presently achieve 75% success  can be taken up for an experiment.

* i’ve got a lot of things to accomplish that i feel SOOOO PRESSSUUURRREDD!!!! as of this moment and i think whether i’m still gonna make it through editting these stuff… this is a time that i think ice cream or chocolates is not enough… *

whew! it’s 3:53 am, sept. 3, 2005 and I’m still awake!!! don’t get me wrong. i’m not complaining. actually, i’m quite HAPPY! that’ i don’t think i can sleep well anyway! whoo! i mean in the first place, this happened a week ago but it’s all coming back! t2 ___, u really made my day! the tym u asked me if he could be the one, i wanted to shout my heart out…but of course, that wasn’t possible then… if only he would choose to be… i know i’m jumping to conclusion here.. but even my mom concludes so! god! during your talks you seem to be hinting something and it’s a huge honor and privilege on my part if you think so… i hope magic does happen… i hope happy endings are real… i pray… he will come… SOON!