~OnCe UpOn @ T!mE!~ [mah fairy tale s2ry]

I would like to finally redirect you to my multiply since this is were I keep updated blogs on my life, my mischiefs, my troubles - basically, all this and that: http://www.forevertrue.multiply.com/ add me up!

Disclaimer: This is a work of bursting emotions. I deeply apologize to whoever would find this insulting, harsh or inappropriate. Room mate, if ever you read this, sorry. Now you know I guess. I just do hope I find the guts to tell you this before you actually read it on line. As of now, I’m sorry.

Mumble:

            I never thought the day would come that I would say this, “I miss dorm life” or should say, Kalai life instead? *sigh* As a dormer, I longed for the freedom that living in a boarding house would give me: no curfew, not much rules, and less people to deal with. Boy! Was I ever wrong. I realize now, when I’m living in a boarding house, how advantageous dorm life was to my growth and adjustment as a UP student. Firstly, it gave me a sense of belonging. Wherever I went, I atleast was reassured that here’s a familiar face with me. I’d enter a room and sit by that person and say, “taga-kalai ka dba? Anong floor ka? BA ako.” And then I’d have an instant friend. Someone I’d room hop to when I’m in doubt, someone who’d walk with me to class or back to the dormitory, someone to eat my meals with, and so on. Aside from a network of friends, I had an instant support group. When I was sad, my closest confidante could be a few doors away. When I was pissed of with my room mate, I could room hop next door and plead to sleep in with them for the night or until we (my room mate and I) have calmed down and got back to good terms. Truly, in the dorm, I WAS NOT ALONE. Come Math 17 finals, I was cramming, I was awake till 3 am but I was alive, uplifted, and encouraged to go on, because the practically the whole Kalai was awake cramming like I was.

Grumble:

            So what’s the real deal as of this moment? Well, let’s just say it’s hard to be just you and your room mate in a boarding house. (emphasis on the room mate since it’s just the two of us) She’s okay I guess. But there really are going to be moments that you’d not get along and I miss having another room to run to when all’s hell. I miss room hopping to those studying people when my room mate is asleep so that I won’t be tempted to hop in my bed and snore the night away. See, my room mate is smart. She doesn’t study much. Her philosophy is that you need not study if you listen to the professor. I listen. I swear I do! But when your prof is a terror prof, listening is not going to be enough. You’d have to burn your midnight candle, reading, studying, practicing and making sure everything’s your best because this is crucial more to passing than actually acing the exam. I miss those people I’ve spent my first year with who’d be awake with me till 3 am that we’d take turns having naps so that we won’t burn out easily. I miss those people who’d tell me, “You’ll be proud of yourself for passing Chem 16 under Capati. Just hang on.” when I felt that it was a hopeless case. I miss the sense of family and home away from home – everyone’s your sister and your RA’s more like your big sister or mom.

Mumble:

            Hahahaha… I thought that the day I’d say this would be the day I’d be struck by lightning. I actually miss our GI (general inspection), where everything was sparkling and clean and everyone was helping each other out to make sure the whole corridor is spic and span. I learned lots of things I never would have learned had I not been in a dorm: floor waxing, cleaning the electric fan, color coded arrangement of my clothes in the closet and so on.

Grumble:

            I miss that all because it gave us all a chance to learn – to give a go at it even if we had our own yayas or a maid at home or if we grew up not doing house hold chores. You see, I’m not a neat freak. I’m a messy person. But ever since Kalai, I learned to atleast try to organize my stuff. I’ve learned to clean or attempt to clean my room every other night and have a general cleaning every two weeks when I change my sheets. So what’s my problem now? My room mate, well she’s a bit elitist. She’s well off and she doesn’t really try because she was used to having people do things for her. Here, it is I who sweep the floor, dust the tables, clean up her and my mess (since we share a table), as well as mop the floor because, “hindi ako sanay gawin niyan eh because at home, it’s our two maids who do that” Hell! I never would have learned I can do half the household chores I now know like scrubbing the floors till I can see my reflection on it (literally) had I not tried! She’d laugh and say, “at home, I’m the spoiled little princess” and what comes to mind is what my cousin and her best friend shared with me when they also had a fight with some board mates regarding cleaning their place up, “Kung prinsesa ka sa bahay niyo, prinsesa din ako sa bahay ko. Pero dahil wala tayo sa bahay natin, tulungan naman! Hindi ako nag-aaral para maging katulong mo!” Hehehe.. Astig diba? Especially that part about the princess stuff. I’m coping and I haven’t confronted my room mate yet. I feel such a rat ranting about this now but I’m going to explode if I don’t.

Mumble to Grumble:

            Last! It’s hard being a shiftee. Not much friends, they all have their own groups. And another “culture shock” so to speak. Back in Eng’g, people were a bit laid back. Tulungan to pass. Share. But here, hahahahaha… Let’s keep pumping that adrenaline because compete kung compete sa college na to! I used to be grade conscious way back elem and high school but when I entered the College of Engineering, I learned not to push so hard against the wall that would not budge. Kung ito ang hangganan ng kakayahan, eh di e2 lang. Lahat naman na ginagawa mo, bumabagsak ka pa – do your best na lang, pray, and then God will do the rest. Pero ngayon, it’s I have to be with the top. I have to or I’d get laid off my course. I have to reach this grade. It works well for motivation but sometimes, the pressure gets to me.

            Oh well, let’s just hope this is but another phase. Please help me pray. I have a chem. and stat exam tomorrow. I leave you with this text message I received recently:

A UP Student’s Prayer

Now I lay down to study,

I pray Lord I don’t go nutty.

If I fail to learn this junk,

I pray I do not flunk.

If I die, don’t bury me at all

Just lay my bones in the study hall

Pile my books upon my chest

And tell my profs I did my best.

So now I lay down to rest

And I pray I pass tomorrow’s test.

If I die before I wake,

That’s one less test I’ll have to take!